THE DARK SIDE OF DELIVERY

So, I just recently indulged in some online shopping. Online shopping just so happens to be my favorite form of shopping for a multitude of reasons.

  1. I don’t have to be around a bunch of people while I’m browsing

  2. I don’t have to worry about random salespeople knocking on my fitting room door inquiring about my well-being.

  3. I can take an item out of my cart and put it back in as many times as I want without looking suspicious.

  4. Let’s not tiptoe around it, I like to shop with my pants off. Arrest me. (Which they probably literally will if I do that in public.)

But, as great as online shopping is, it comes with a few drawbacks. The main one for me being the delivery process. Here’s what I mean.

THE ANTICIPATION

The main thing that I hate about the delivery process is the wait. Sometimes for me the anticipation begins to build from the moment I receive my confirmation email. And it’s not what you think, I’m not being impatient about my items arriving. I just get so anxious about the fact that within five to seven business days, some strange person is gonna be knocking at my door AND I’M GONNA HAVE TO ANSWER. I absolutely hate when people knock at my door (scheduled visits from loved ones aside) because I never know what to expect from people that I don’t know. And to be quite honest, I don’t wanna stick around to find out. There are just way too many variables and that makes me uneasy. There have been many occasions when random people have unexpectedly knocked at my door and I stood there watching them through the peephole until they left. It’s actually kinda fun to watch them wait. Judge me if you want to.

THE DROPOFF

Now when the delivery man actually comes? Well that’s a whole new can of worms. Like I said, I HAVE to open the door. How else am I gonna get my package and/or pizza? That small interaction may seem like it’s not a big deal to a lot of people. But for me? A socially awkward introvert? It is quite a lot. It means me having to break the barrier between me and the outside world (I’m not a shut in, I swear) and interacting with some stranger who came knocking at my door. There might even be…..dare I say it? BANTER. *shudders* And did I mention that I have to put my pants on? Smh. What an inconvenience.

THE DELIVERY MAN’S INTEGRITY

Something else that I don’t love about delivery is when the delivery man just can’t seem to wait for me to walk to the door and they either leave with my package because I “missed it” or they wind up leaving it outside on the porch, unattended. I was on my way to the door! Hold your horses! Isn’t there some sort of protocol that says that they have to wait like ten seconds or something? If not, there should be. All I need is like 10 Mississippi’s. Can you give me that? One time I was waiting on my package in the living room with my front door cracked open and I heard the delivery man VERY LIGHTLY knock on my door and DROP my package on the front porch. Ummm what? What if I hadn’t been in the living room to hear his whisper of a knock? My precious package (it was a vibrating scalp massager btw) would have been in jeopardy of being snatched. When I opened the door a few seconds later he smiled at me as if he hadn’t just carelessly dropped my package! I smiled back because I’m not assertive and don’t like confrontation, BUT STILL! I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I wish some of the delivery people weren’t so careless when it comes to these packages that people have paid for and have been patiently waiting for. That’s all.

So, those are the few gripes that I have about an otherwise flawless system. What do you love and hate about online shopping/delivery? Let me know below!

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