People are going to invite you to do things that you don’t feel like doing. ALL THE TIME. That’s just the way it is. But it’s your fault, you shouldn’t have been so charming. Often, introverts just say yes to whatever they were invited to, kick themselves for it later and then either go to the thing or come up with an excuse for not going. Or at least this is how I’ve handled things. Maybe you’re more advanced than me, I don’t know.
This time around though, I want to be able to properly turn down an invite so that I don’t have to kick myself for saying yes to something I should’ve said no to. And I’m certain that I’m not the only one with this issue, so I’m writing this post so that we can work on it together. Here are five tips for introverts who have trouble turning down invites.
1. BE CONFIDENT
You don’t have to feel guilty about turning down an invite. It’s OK to honor your own feelings over someone else’s. This may sound a bit selfish, but at the end of the day it’s important to make your happiness a priority. Besides, you can’t please everyone (nor is it your job to).
So when you turn down someone’s invite, do it because you DESERVE to. Have the confidence and self respect to be firm in your decision. Know in your mind that your feelings are valid and that what you want is important.
2. BE HONEST
It can be quite tempting to just lie your way out of an invitation, and maybe sometimes it’s necessary. But, I feel that if you’re honest about how you’re feeling, it can help others to better understand how you operate.
Explain to them that you do like being invited to things, but sometimes you might decline because you need some time for yourself. This way, when you tell them that you’re not up for it, they should understand. Especially if you put them on the up and up about your reasons why.
3. BE POLITE
Just because you’re turning somebody down, it doesn’t mean that you have to be rude about it. Sometimes we come off the wrong way when we say things. It’s not always about what you said, but the way that you said it.
“Please kindly go away, I’m introverting.” -Beth Buelow
This is something that I personally have to work on because I have found myself in countless situations where my tone wasn’t as neutral as I thought it was. That, paired with my Resting Bitch Face, must have been a really nasty mixture. So, just make sure that you watch your tone. You wouldn’t want someone to get the wrong idea after all!
4. BE OPEN TO FUTURE INVITES
Let them know that just because you’re hanging back this time, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be down to hang next time! Even if you ultimately decide not to go, it’s always nice to be invited. Make sure that your friends and family know this.
You wouldn’t want to get left out of future opportunities to see them just because you said no the first couple of times. So let them know sincerely that while you aren’t interested this time, you COULD very well be interested next time!
5. INVITE THEM TO HANG AT YOUR HOUSE INSTEAD
Maybe you still want to see them even though you’re too drained to go out. Invite them over! (Want a fun checklist for throwing a laid back introvert party? Receive one when you subscribe to our mailing list!) You guys could Netflix and chill or play games all from the comfort of your home. You can even leave your PJ’s on.
There are plenty of times when my brother (also an introvert) will come to my house and we’ll play retro video games, talk, and laugh for HOURS. So try that out the next time you’re down to hang out, but not go out.
Those were my five tips for introverts who struggle with turning down an invite. Do you have any more tips to add? Comment them down below!
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