Introverts are notorious for spending copious amounts of time alone. And this is not because they don’t want to, this is by choice. They are constantly declining invitations to spend time with others, preferring to spend that time alone. They seem to be so content with being by themselves and are always going on about how they thrive in their alone time. With all of that being said, it would seem to be safe to assume that introverts never get lonely, right? WRONG. Introverts get lonely too! I can understand why that may sound like a bit of a contradiction. How could someone who CHOOSES solitude be lonely? Allow me to explain. Here are three reasons why introverts get lonely too!
LONELY IN CROWDS
Ever hear the saying that goes “I feel loneliest in a crowded room.” or something like that? This phrase is one that most introverts can relate to. When introverts are in a space that contains a lot of people, it can be hard for them to feel like they are connecting with others in the way that they would like to. There’s often such an onslaught of people wanting to be heard, but not trying to hear others. Everyone seems to be trying to talk over one another, talk LOUDER than one another or are just waiting for their turn to talk. Often times not even really listening to what was said before their turn to speak arrived. It’s what I like to call in my mind “competitive conversing”.
“The group of people in front of her was jovial and paid her no attention. The group behind was much the same. She was alone without being alone.”
This is enough to make an introvert withdraw and not say anything at all. More introverted personality types are interested in feeling heard when they speak. They don’t like talking just for the sake of hearing their voices. Being in a room full of people who don’t hear them out can feel extremely lonely. No matter how many people are around. It would feel a lot less lonely and mentally draining for an introvert to just be alone with their thoughts. (Want a fun printable checklist with mental recharge essentials? Receive one when you subscribe to our newsletter!)
THEIR PRIVATE NATURE
An introvert isn’t exactly what I would describe as “an open book”. This is because introverts tend to be more reserved by nature. It’s not that they don’t share their deepest, darkest thoughts with anyone. It’s that they won’t share them with JUST anyone. In order for an introvert to feel comfortable confiding their thoughts in you, they have to feel like you care. They have to feel like they share some sort of a connection with you.
An introvert could have a million and one acquaintances, but still feel lonely if they don’t have a true friend to have more deep conversations with. Even if an introvert DOES consider you to be a friend, they won’t necessarily share what’s been on their minds with you. Sometimes we would rather keep it to ourselves or write about it if we feel like no one else will resonate with it. That’s how private we can be at times. And this need to cling to that privacy can contribute to our feeling lonely in a very big way.
THEY FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD
The fact of the matter is that we live in a time where introversion is often misunderstood, sometimes even by introverts themselves. Sure there are good sources with quality information from which you can learn about introversion, but it hasn’t exactly swept the nation yet.
“Everyone has a side to them that’s sort of unexplained and feels misunderstood.”
I would say that the majority of people just don’t get it. And it can make one feel pretty lonely when the majority of people don’t understand what they consider to be such a big part of who they are. What’s worse is that people are so quick to put labels on introverts that are often negative or just totally miss the mark all together. It’s quite easy to feel alienated and alone under such circumstances.
Anyone can feel lonely…
Whether introvert, extrovert or somewhere in between, ANYONE can feel lonely. It’s completely understandable why one would assume that introverts don’t get lonely, but with the proper education on what introversion REALLY means you could better understand. I recommend this post that thoroughly breaks down what it means to be an introvert. To help support the introvert community in being better understood, read it and pass it along to anyone else who may be interested!
What are some of the things that make you feel lonely as an introvert? Share them down below!
Did you enjoy this post? Share it and SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter to never miss an update!